The Grab Bag

Jokes and "What Have You" for your enjoyment!

"If you have any good jokes, stories, remarks, send them in and share it with us"






"Thought for the Future"


"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English
except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor
with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a
decent living. People marched and were hit in the
face with rocks to get an education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up
their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying
things for kids. $500 sneakers for what ? ?

And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their
son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12 ? ?

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't
know that he had a pistol ? ?

And where is the father ? ? Or who is his father ?

People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around
the crack, isn't that a sign of something ? ?

Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up ?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way
up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans.Those people are not Africans;
they don't know a thing about Africa

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all
of that crap, and all of them are in jail. Brown or black versus
the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used
to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight
different 'baby daddy' - or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two
paragraphs.We, as black folks, have to do a better job. Someone
working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
We cannot blame the white people any longer."

Dr. William Henry "Bill" Cosby, Jr., Ed.D

Submitted by: Bob Brack (Retired - GWB)







"Problem Solver"

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately –
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida.

Not me. I concentrate on solutions to problems.

The result is a win-win-win situation:
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
+ Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans.
+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?

Submitted by: Mark Sacks (Active)







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